MANNERS MATTER

"Being gracious in life will carry you far," espoused United States Poet Laureate, Ted Kooser. Attending my son's college graduation ceremony, I listened intently as Kooser delivered the keynote address. Speaking to the graduates, he assured them that his words would be brief and forgave them in advance if they didn't remember much of his speech. I was instantly attracted to the manner of this 35-year-career insurance man turned poet, so hurriedly reached for a scrap of paper to scribble a few notes.

Kooser told the graduates that when they left the university with diploma in hand they needed only one other thing to enter the world - a box of blank thank you notes. He asked these young achievers to heed his one bit of advice as they began their new lives. Yes, they needed thank you notes to acknowledge their graduation gifts, but more than that, they would need thank you notes throughout their journey of lifelong learning.

Graduates aren't the only ones who can go far by being gracious. How many bridges can be built with a simple thank you! Looking back over the years since I launched my coaching business, I can point to several instances when doors were opened due to my thank you notes. One particular time stands out.

After finding my website on the Internet, a local television reporter contacted me for an on-camera interview about career coaching. Immediately following the interview, I wrote out a thank you card and mailed it to her. She called me a couple days later, pleased to get the thank you note, saying this was the first one she had ever received for doing an interview. We chatted briefly, and she asked if she might refer another reporter to me who was doing a feature series on career challenges. Meeting with the second reporter resulted in my being interviewed two more times on local TV in one summer! Would this have happened if I had not sent a thank you note? Maybe, but I believe my thank you note to the first reporter caused her to refer me.

Everyone wants to feel appreciated, even a television reporter who finds herself in the spotlight everyday. When we omit the "thank you," we take people for granted - in a way telling them that they don't really matter. Showing your appreciation is not only a matter of expressing good manners, it is a gesture that will help you reap many rewards.