CHASING HAPPINESS

As a career coach I see a lot of self-proclaimed unhappy people. When I ask new clients their main goal for the next three months and 90% say they want to be happy, I have to sit back and ask, "What does happiness look like to you?" and "When will you know you have achieved it?"

Most have no specific answer to either question. It seems that happiness is an elusive state of being, some nebulous sense of utopia that can only be realized by having more than "enough" money (how much?), the "perfect" mate, zero stress, total freedom (at work and home), absence of boredom - and so on.

The clarifying question becomes: Is happiness more like a half-full glass or a half-empty glass? "Neither," say most. "Happiness is when the glass is 100% full." So, am I to believe that no one in this world is happy? After all, let's get real - how many of us live our lives with our glass 100% full? Is that even possible?

Coaching moment: Choose ONE thing you can do today that would result in raising the water line in your "happiness" glass. It doesn't have to be big, but it does have to be sincere. Step back and ask yourself, "Why does this make me happy?"

Comments

[Heather Mundell]

Meg, this is a very thoughtful post. What is "happiness" to each of us, and how would we know it if we experienced it? I agree with you that having the glass 100% full just isn't realistic, if having the glass full all the time means walking around in a state of euphoria or bliss.

Much more useful is to thoughtfully define what each of us means by "happiness" or "glass full" and to daily look for ways to experience that. I believe it's the accumulation of moments that add up to a subjective experience of "happiness" - and you need to be conscious of the moments!

My one thing I will do today is to be fully present with my daughters after work, giving them my full attention and going along with their flow. When I consciously let go of my agenda I enjoy them so much more, and I am a much happier parent.